By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
