some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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