? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize