Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
