Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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