i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
