I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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