So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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