my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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