Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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