walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
