I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Dignity is for republicans.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
