I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
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