Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
