When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize