she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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