Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
