She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
His hands were made for my vagina.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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