forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
