we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The convent might be a nice break from real life
This toilet bowl is my home.
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