i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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