is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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