Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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