I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
