I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
