"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
