I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
