just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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