If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
