I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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