Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
