who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
