id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
