but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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