BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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