I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
