Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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