Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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