No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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