i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
