Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
