just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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