i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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