Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
