i just wanna soil my oats bro
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
