I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
