im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
