Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
