Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
two words...techno handjob
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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