omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
